TL;DR: Porsche 911 wins everything, even the 1/8th mile… even the slowest Porsche 911 they could find.

That starts by racing against a 2023 Porsche 911 Carrera T with a seven-speed manual transmission. This is the slowest new 911 you can buy today, but it’s hardly a dog. In prior MotorTrend tests, we’ve run the 379-hp stick-shift Carrera T to 60 mph in 3.9 seconds and through the quarter mile in 12.2 seconds at 116.4 mph. Per our usual test procedures, we raced the 911 with a full tank of gas.

Elon lied.