Grapheneos is only installable on unlocked phones. Specifically pixels. There is a complete list on their site

What are those features?

Interesting info. I switched to grapheneos recently, which allows you to disable a lot of that stuff. Combining that with WG, should make a solid way to share

A quick search shows alternatives to keep the functionality: https://github.com/TRaSH-Guides/Guides/blob/master/docs/Plex/Tips/Plex-media-server.md#scan-my-library-automatically

YT video linked in that post. Ultimately just takes a bit of effort to figure most things out IMO.

UI is confusing, but its a good platform to learn. there are a lot of resources for doing typical stuff (dhcp,dns, wireguard, firewall rules, etc.)

Mikrotik makes a few that are rack ready. Not sure about rack size. They are extremely customizable and pretty cheap in the grand scheme. I absolutely love mine. some things I am using it for:

• natively supports Wireguard, allowing me to keep everything private and just wireguard into my home network
• I have set up firewall rules that force all DNS through my pihole, including those pesky LG/google devices that try to bring their own hardcoded DNS servers.
• I have backed up my config to a script and literally trashed a switch a few weeks ago, bought a replacement and was up and running with the same config in <30 minutes of setup.

My one qualm with them, is their warranty service is pretty jank. The devices themselves are generally very good, but having had one die on me after 3 years, I was a little dejected I couldn’t really get it replaced (they do still offer support though). If you need a specific recommendation the RB5009 is really solid for homelab stuff. The one saving grace is the routers are pretty cheap if you know what you need…replacing them (compared to a unifi or something else) is easier? if you’re ok with that

Dunno about plexamp, but Plex has an auto-scan built in. Its disabled by default, but works like a charm. It listens for new file events and general finds things before you complete a download or copy

figured I would respond, but your advice was good! got me to find a known good and work from there. posted an update to the OP.

Ok, so travelers in a virtual 3 way are non-existant really. They are repurposed as the load wire in a single-way. Basically: virtual 3-way eliminates the 3-way setup, instead having the 2nd switch simply communicate that it was pressed to the main smart switch. If you peek at the link I posted in OP, you can see a diagram of the wiring (obviously in the correct state).

I am confident with a multimeter, are you recommending a continuity test? I could tie the load & traveler together, unless there is some other way to test which traveler corresponds to which main switch?

Do you have a recommended software for diagrams? hopefully something quick n’ easy to use. I can provide a picture, but only one switch is clear unfortunately.