I think this one https://github.com/nextcloud/desktop/issues/5369 is probably the more relevant, and also open, issue. However even in that issue people claim you can choose not to. The argument is only that it suggests restarting explorer and also rebooting and that this is annoying. So you never get a prompt, it just dies?
I agree though that the amount of time where it was force rebooting is pretty bad, and it looks like the rollout of the patch was mishandled. I also should probably admit that I’ve never touched the windows client, my environment is entirely Linux and Android. The Linux client even with file manager integration doesn’t require restarts of anything.
Nextcloud AIO is not the only way to run Nextcloud in docker. For example you can use the Nextcloud docker repository and docker-compose for which there are many examples. I’ve been running Nextcloud this way for many years now without any un-recoverable issues, and no issues at all that weren’t caused by me. Upgrading is also very easy since you simply increment the version in docker-compose.yml and restart the service.
That said the NixOS suggestion from @StrawberryPigtails@lemmy.sdf.org looks really neat and I may try that out soon my self since I’ve never played with NixOS before and it seems like a good excuse to do so.